Felt like I needed to pay homage to the inspiration for my blog title by taking it all the way, so here goes nothing...
If you give a b!+ch a blog, she's going to ask for a follower.
When you become her follower, she'll probably ask you to comment.
When she's finished, she'll ask you for a re-post.
Then she'll want to look at your blog to make sure you have hers listed on the side.
When she looks at your blog, she might notice something you've said.
So she'll probably comment and throw in a live link.
When she's finished visiting your blog, she'll want to post another blog.
She'll start writing.
She might get carried away and do this for every blog.
She may even end up writing on yours as well!
When she's done, she'll probably want to take a nap.
You'll have to make a little space for her on the couch with a pillow.
She'll climb on, make herself comfy and grab her smartphone.
She'll probably ask you to read her a blog.
So you'll read to her from one of the blogs, and she'll ask to see the photos.
When she looks at the photos, she'll get so excited she'll want to post one of her own. She'll ask for an SD card.
She'll post a picture.
When the picture is loaded, she'll want to tag herself and her friends.
Then she'll want the picture posted on your facebook page.
Which means she'll need your wall.
She'll post the photo and then post a link to it.
Looking at facebook will remind her that she likes having readers.
She'll ask for another follower.
And chances are if she asks for a follower, she's going to write a blog to go with it.
(Thanks Laura Joffe Numeroff for your inspiration, we love your books!)