Monday, March 14, 2011

If you give a mom a couch...

"A well-spent day brings happy sleep." -Leonardo da Vinci
Our couch is a black hole! I love it, but I cannot sit on it, noone can. It takes up most of our living room, can seat at least six comfortably, is the only soft spot (other than Cyn's chair) and yet we rarely ever sit on it. Cyn sits in her chair, X doesn't sit and I usually sit in a dining room chair (at the computer, of course.) If I sit on the couch (I have actually tried this a few times over the years) one of two things immediately happens, sometimes both...Either I fall asleep (no matter how un-tired I am, no matter what's on tv, no matter who else is in the house, no matter how much caffeine I ingest) OR X appears out of nowhere (I think there is a trip wire that alerts him, but I have not discovered where the damn thing is located, which by the way is also somehow linked to the dryer buzzer, which I guess is actually a third thing) to climb on my lap/climb on my back/give me a twenty minute dissertation (with visual aids and sound effects) on why typhlosion is a sooooo much better pokemon than celeby/climb on my head/ask for a snack/ask for a drink/ask me to see what he just built/or just generally lay down on top of me (see picture above for an example of a both scenario.)
Mostly though, I just avoid the couch. I putter about in the kitchen, use the computer, play a game at the table, chat on the phone, text or all of the above. And if we decide to watch a movie together as a family, I have two choices, sit at the table and watch the movie while puttering or hit the couch and enjoy the previews (if I'm lucky) before drifting off to sleep. I can go all day, stay up to all hours of the night, as long as I avoid that darn couch. By the way, it's not me, it's the couch! When we do have company and they do risk sitting on the couch (ignoring both the posted and verbal disclaimers) they fall asleep too. Especially if watching a movie. It happens all the time. Even to those stronger than myself. And when the time comes to remove me/us/them from the couch...Not gonna lie, it's ugly! See, we don't want to stay there all night, we want to be comfy in our own bed/in our own house/with our own pillows/our own perfect, white, down comforter. So you cannot leave me/us/them there, but go ahead and try and get me/us/them up to move. But you can't blame me/us/them it's the couch, it's the black hole of Glen Burnie. Getting kinda sleepy. Feels like couch time...G'night all.


  1. Such tiny tiny type... did the couch eat the font size too?

  2. Hilarious! Time for a new couch, sounds like. Always wondered what those HUGE couches were like (we don't have room in our little room for one). Craigslist furniture section time? Hugs!

  3. Sounds like one very comfy couch! At least you know where to go if you get insomnia:)